Step1: As citizens of New York City, we were born with the understanding that we are superior.

Step2: We realized that there is no place greater than New York City; the rest of the world is totally barbaric.

Step3: We became adept at manipulating as many people as possible into turning their lives over to our management, even though they may not fully understand our superior talent.

Step4: We made a complete and fearless moral inventory of every acquaintance, no matter how insignificant they may be.

Step5: We publicly proclaimed the exact nature of their ignorance and their mistakes.

Step6: We assumed our natural role of reminding everyone else how to straighten up and fly right.

Step7: We demanded that people who were unable to accept our guidance either shape up or ship out.

Step8: We made a list of all persons who had harmed us, and we became willing to do just about anything to get rid of them all.

Step9: We took revenge on such people whenever possible, except when to do so would endanger our own lives or increase our chances of spending serious time in jail.

Step10: We continued to take the moral inventory of others, and when they were wrong, we promptly and repeatedly informed them about it.

Step11: We sought through complaining and nagging to compel others to submit to our will, asking only that they cave in, knuckle under, and do things our way.